What You Fear Is How You Lead

The new chief had been on the job for about a year. Let’s call him Chief Example, to protect the identity of who he really is. Chief Example is well meaning and subscribes to a new vision of policing. Though he never really got the kind of leadership training or had a role model to teach him the skills to implement his vision, he was smart enough to hire some new leaders who do have those skills to round out the executive team. Those new direct reports joined the team with very high morale. They too shared a vision of what the profession needs to become and were excited to get the freedom to help build it. Except it’s not working.

There is one major impediment that was impossible to spot before Chief Example got his. It’s an old habit called fear. The chief came up through the ranks where fear was the primary lever used by his former bosses to lead their organizations. Many would call this “old school policing” (Chief Example included). But old habits die hard. And in this case, his fear was impacting the way he trusted and the way he led.

Old habits die hard and fear can impact the way we trust and lead.

Chief Example had routine check-ins with his captains, inviting some members of his executive team to also attend the meetings (this is a good thing). After a few of the individual meetings, his exec team offered some constructive feedback. They respectfully pointed out that the chief was playing “gotcha” with the captains – pointing out all things they were doing wrong while ignoring the things they were doing right. For anyone who studies effective leadership, catching people doing things right is a much more effective way to strengthen a culture and improve performance. Playing “gotcha,” in stark contrast, undermines trust and is absolutely demoralizing.

The chief took the feedback and before the next meeting called one of the captains and asked point blank, “in our last meeting, was I intimidating?”

You don’t have to be a leadership expert to know exactly how that captain responded. Worse, the chief asked the captain to send an email to everyone else who attended the meeting to tell them that he didn’t find the meeting intimidating at all. The story is so farcical it’s hard to imagine it actually happened – but it did.

The chief’s problem isn’t lack of vision or even lack of skills – he hired for those. It was his fear. His fear of failing. His fear looking bad. His fear of looking weak in the eyes of his leadership. And that fear was now impacting how he trusts people. He started to believe that his leadership team was trying to undermine him (they weren’t). He became paranoid that his leadership team was rallying the rank and file against him (they’re not).

The worst part is that a highly skilled, highly motivated leadership team is now feeling so demoralized by their inability to impact any real change. Some of them may leave for new jobs, others may just disengage. Sadly, it’s the rest of the agency and the community that will suffer most.

One of the things I’ve learned about leadership from dating is that in all my failed relationships, the only common factor was me. Though mutinies do happen in organizations, they are extremely rare. If someone in a leadership position truly feels that “everyone is out to get me,” I would challenge them to consider one other point of view: what if it’s you?

In all my failed relationships, the only common factor was me.

The solution is frustratingly simple. But it does require a little courage. First, we have to be open to the idea that it could be us. Then we have to communicate that to our leadership team. Chief Example can easily right the ship and restore trust simply by sitting down with his team and saying, “I think I’m part of the problem. I’ve been trying so hard to get this right and prove to you that I know what I’m doing, that I’ve been thinking more about myself and my image than the hard work we are trying to do together. I want you to know I know. I want you to know I am trying to break old habits. I’m going to stumble. But I’m going to keep trying. All I ask is please be patient with me and keep the feedback coming. And most of all, stay on course.”

Sadly, there is no advice I can offer to Chief Example’s leadership team to help them inspire their boss to say those words to them. This is the chief’s journey. The chief must lead himself in the way he wants to lead his organization. The current culture he has created prevents this kind of vulnerability. But it can change…with just a few sentences.

For those of you who are struggling to change an “old school culture” and thinking that’s not you – I would like to propose that it might be. Because, at various times, it’s all of us. Regardless of our rank in the organization, every single one of us, is able to form narratives about the people we work with. “That one’s lazy,” we may say about someone on our team. “That one’s stupid.” “That one only thinks about themselves.” Then we treat them according to our narrative of them. And sometimes that narrative is “that one hates me and wants to undermine me, they want me to fail.”

To change our mindset is to change the way we trust. Perhaps someone is lazy, or perhaps they are struggling or scared themselves. Maybe someone is out to get us…because maybe they are afraid of losing their job or they see their opportunity for advancement interrupted by a new system that they haven’t mastered. Armed with that perspective, we can talk out loud about those exact themes. We can meet people where they are. To change the way we trust is to change the way we treat people. The moment our people feel someone understands their concerns and their stress, is the moment they feel seen and heard. And if people believe we have their back, then and only then will they will have ours.

-Simon